old habits?

Originally Posted by bella-donna

why is it i only attract needy men wh turn in2 paranoid possesive violent freaks?? they usualy come across as normal at 1st. how do i break the cycle? or is the problem with me n not them??

We all follow the same patterns in life whether they are good for us or not. These patterns of behavour will come from childhood and be perfected throughout our teen years. You only do something if you get a payoff from it. You break the cycle by finding out what it is that you are lacking in life and doing something about it. If you really want something, write down what you want and what you have to do to achieve this, be prepared to work hard for this. It all boils down to how much the payoff is and how much you rally want to change. Payoffs can be both negative and positive. Negative can be eating comfort foods when you feel upset, you get a short term payoff but it does you no good in the long run. Positive payoffs can be working towards something that seemed a little bit unachievable and getting what you want this gives you a renewed confidence in yourself and an opportunity to go and succed at more things. Hoped this helps. If you need more let me know.

[Bakerboo]

Originally Posted by coachoflife

We all follow the same patterns in life whether they are good for us or not. These patterns of behavour will come from childhood and be perfected throughout our teen years. You only do something if you get a payoff from it. You break the cycle by finding out what it is that you are lacking in life and doing something about it. If you really want something, write down what you want and what you have to do to achieve this, be prepared to work hard for this. It all boils down to how much the payoff is and how much you rally want to change. Payoffs can be both negative and positive. Negative can be eating comfort foods when you feel upset, you get a short term payoff but it does you no good in the long run. Positive payoffs can be working towards something that seemed a little bit unachievable and getting what you want this gives you a renewed confidence in yourself and an opportunity to go and succed at more things. Hoped this helps. If you need more let me know.

wow..... that's deep