Fancy dress

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress Party.
He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg
So he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a
pirate. The man thinks this is terrible because they emphasized his
disability,
So he writes a letter of complaint.

A week passes and he received another parcel..

Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find a monk's habit. The long
Robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look
the part.

The man is extremely furious now, because the company has gone from
Emphasising his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he
writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later, he gets a very
small parcel from the company with an
accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden
Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a
Toffee Apple!

err think i'll pass on that one lmao