Grave Humour 1

[Mischa]

Its sad when people die but some epitaphs you read on gravestones are so funny. Here are some:

Here lies the body of Jessica Jones
Who died of eating cherry stones.
Her name was Smith; it was not Jones
But Jones was put to rhyme with stones.

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Here lies the body of Emily White
She signalled left and then turned right.

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Wherever you be
Let your wind go free.
For it was keeping it in
That was the death of me.

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Here lies the body of Charlotte Greer
Whose mouth would stretch from ear to ear
Be careful as you tread this sod
For if she gapes, you're gone by God!

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This is the last long resting place of Aunt Jemima Jones
Her soul ascended into space amidst our tears and groans
She was not pleasing to the eye nor had she any brain
And when she talked twas through her nose which gave her friends much pain
But still we feel that she was worth the money that was spent
Upon the coffin, hearse and stone (the funeral plumes were lent)

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Here lie the bones of Copperstone Charlotte
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For sixteen years she kept her virginity
A damn'd long time in this vicinity.

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Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder
She burst while drinking a seidlitz powder.
Called from the world to her heavenly rest
She should have waited till it effervesced.

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Here lies the body of Dame Margaret Pegg
Who never had issue except in her leg
So great was her art, so deep was her cunning
While one leg kept still the other kept running.

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