i'm like a weak bird

#1 (**permalink**) 21-04-08, 01:20 AM

i'm like a weak bird caught in a ragging storm
my little heart flutters as fast as my wings
tired yet frightened
courage, bravery, the strife to live fills my little heart
when suddenly the sun shines through the clouds
like a light switch was just turned on
now my flapping wings carry me to safety

this is a sample of my work please tell me what you think

#2 (**permalink**) 21-04-08, 08:19 AM

aawww thats nice ...

shazzababie · #3 (**permalink**) 21-04-08, 07:15 PM

not really my cup of tea to be honest... no offence like !!

I'm a straight talker and its a bit airy fairy for me

as long as u like it is the main thing

#4 (**permalink**) 21-04-08, 07:27 PM

very nice mags if u can imagine ur self as the bid it touches u

#5 (**permalink**) 21-04-08, 07:31 PM

yeah it's mainly in honor of my kid sis. who is going blind. i'm dedicating it to her since she was the inspiration.

#6 (**permalink**) 22-04-08, 07:35 PM

i m soz 2 hear that mags i hope see likes ur story

pete8242 · #7 (**permalink**) 22-04-08, 07:41 PM

is it supposed to ryme?
im not moved by poetry personally
its emotion is for the writer not the reader

#8 (**permalink**) 22-04-08, 11:24 PM

all poems don't ryme. this one is a simile where using the word "like" i compare myself to a bird. i also used it to compare two other things, see if anyone can pick out the other things i compared to each other. hope you have fun.

#9 (**permalink**) 22-04-08, 11:48 PM

thats reali nice keep them coming would love 2 read more xxx

#10 (**permalink**) 07-05-08, 10:08 AM

really loved ur poem, u write like i do, keep em coming.

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