The Farter from Sparta

There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart "God Save the Queen,"
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute,
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.

This sparkling young farter from Sparta,
His fart for no money would barter.
He could roar from his rear
Any scene from Shakespeare,
Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.

Nobody could play classics much finer,
As he showed me one day in the diner.
I had a bagel with lox
While from his buttocks:
He played Chopin's Etude 12 in C-minor.

He'd fart a gavotte for a starter,
And fizzle a fine serenata.
He could play on his anus
The Coriolanus:
Oof, boom,er-tum,tootle, yum tah-dah!

He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata.

Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious German named Bager,
He proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of a Haydn Octet in B-major.

His played it all, classics to jazz,
He achieved new effects with his gas.
With a good dose of salts
He could whistle a waltz
Or swing it in razzamatazz.

His basso profundo so rare
He rendered with power to spare.
But his great work of art,
His fortissimo fart,
He saved for the Marche Militaire.

One day he was dared to perform,
The William Tell overture storm.
But naught could dishearten our spirited Spartan,
For his fart was in fabulous form.

The selection was tough, I’ll admit,
But this did not dismay him one bit,
Then with ass thrown aloft, he suddenly coughed,
And collapsed in a shower of ¤¤¤¤.

His bung hole was flown back to Sparta,
Where they buried the rest of our farter.
With a gravestone of turds, inscribed with the words
" To the fine art of farting - a martyr"

pmsl babes that a good one though u must have writers cramp now lol loved it , good way to start the day reaing that

reading ffs blame it on bein early for typin mistakes lol

as long as u made it to asda for the cookery lesson ingredients then all is well lol xxx (let u into a secret hun, called copy and paste, really does save getting writers cramp pmsl)

yea i was good girl made it to asda n was good girl even bought the moanin ......... 2 papers n ciggies to replace the ones i stole on him last nte lol ok so one was last weeks paper but at 7.10 am how was i supposed to know it was last weeks ffs lol copy n paste forget that it called work lol

hehe last weeks paper lol, something do 2 babe and have done!!..........glad u got up ok and put urself back in jimmys good books by buying him some fags lol..............but when ur married wots urs is urs and wots his is urs (thats wot I have been told anyway) better be or I may weleconsider this whole marriage lark

oh that so true verity hun when u livin together never mind married wots his is ures wots ures is ure own hehe

[sky]

pmsl my mum used to say that to my dad, (it usually involved a packet of liqourish allsorts).lol.

im not that innocent with jimmy sky hun lmao how times have changed it more than sweets hehe