White Van Man

To the tune of Old King Cole


White Van Man has a very white van
And a very white van has he,
Except for the dents and the rust by the vents
And some very rude graf-ee-teeeee.
He drives in his van as fast as he can
And he neither hears no sees,
He clings to his phone like a dog with a bone
While he steers with one of his kneeeees.
He picks his nose while the tailback grows
And yacks to his front seat crew,
But a fool so rash as to honk or flash
Will receive his fingers twooooo.
Oh, White Van Man has a very wide clan
Who profess no Highway Code,
They'll shunt your rear and yell in your ear
As they U-turn in the roooooad.
He stamps on his brakes when he overtakes
As he cuts up you and me,
For White Van Man has a very white van…
And a very white van has heeeee!

[sky]

Hey that's not my white van is it. They promised they would pick me up and take me back but didn't turn up. i'm all alone and don't like the dark so if it is my van let them have it back please,,,, I miss my padded cell.pmsl.

Good poem V hun keep it up

thats a good poem trying to remember the old king cole tune pmsl got thre in the end xx

Does any1 in here have a white van ? Just outta interest lol

I get picked up by one to go to work...the driver has only got sight in one eye! He does 90 mph in the lashing rain while drinking coffee and trying to answer his mobile!
Does wonders to shake off the hangover!

Ive had about 10 white vans outside my place for the last 6 months lol right opposite me their building houses so ive got tons of builders in vans around from 7am till 6 pm every day , ive also got the cleanest patio doors around so i can see um all ( lol bad loopy) its costing me a fortune in window cleaner to get a sharp view mind , and all the vans have loads of sayings in the dirt on um , like clean me and my wifes dirtyer than this on um pmsl.....