daughter going down wrong road single dad

[wednesday]

Originally Posted by Barwench

Only thing I can add to what pete said is to maybe sit down with your daughter and find out WHY she miss behaves at school, tell her you will always be by her side if not always on it.
Also get her to help you set the house rules, rules she makes herself are harder to break.
Now her mum, thats a hard topic to broach, not knowing all the ins and outs of your relationship its hard to give advice, what I can tell you though is my experience with my eldest daughter father.
He was a nasty piece of work, put me in hospital 3 times, but my daughter still thought the world of him. I never stopped him seeing her, or bad mouthed him in front of her, but I did tell her I didnt like him any more. It took her till her 18th birthday to realise what a bastard he was, and she wanted nothing more to do with him, I then told her all about him.
It took a while, but kids aint daft, they come to their own decisions in their own time, but aventually they see through all the crap and lies, the trick is just to weather the storm till then.

Gotte say my story is a lil like this one...but the father of my kids doesnt bother seeing them, so its me explaining why without making it look like its me thats bitter?....
You have a lot of good advice here....

[riffraff]

i really feel for you, family. i'm a single father of a 4 year old son, the only difference is his mom isn't in the picture, hasn't been since he was one.but you know what, i can honestly say that having him has made me a better man, and appreciate single moms more.

i hope things work out, rig.

___________________________

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

[Sweetpea]

Dear Rig, children cud drive all of us batty at times exspecially when they are teenagers. have sympathy withn yr daughter it must have been very hard decision for her to leave her mom and knock on yr door. she is feeling very rejected and need yr support now more than ever. I agree there have to be rules, praise and lots lots of love. my advise contact yr community centre and see if there is not support groups for single parents with troubled teenagers. most of the time it is a good thing to join these groups. the knowledge and the support that u gain from other parents is most certainly worth it. i did, did not make my problems go away but the support that i received to this day i am very grateful for. all my thoughts with u.
luv
Sweetpea

[emm26]

i would just like to say well done for not giving up on your daughter it seems with one thing or another you have had a rough time with one thing and another i agree with what everyone says cant really say much else but i dont think single fathers get enough praise in todays world it not just us women who bring up kids single handed its the likes of you as well so well done to you hun hope all works out for everyone concerned xxxxxxx

[betty b]

tie her up and dont let her out for a few years... so wont want to do owt naughty 4 a while

[oldmanbrian]

i've been there mate and in all honesty all you can do is to keep your temper, talk to her and try steering her towards girls of her own age who are likely to help her see where she's going wrong. the school should be helpful in the last suggestion. my daughters school were and she has turned around 180 degrees and is back to her old self after the best part of 5 years of unbelievably self destructive attitude. she is trying so hard to catch up some of the schooling she's missed/ not that she wasn't there. just too silly to heed the lessons. in some places the social work department can help. not in itself but they can put you in touch with groups that can offer support and assistance. good luck pal, don't give up im sure she's well worth it.

Originally Posted by rig258

please help me am really worried about my daughter who is just 14, i hadnt seen my daughter for five years and out of nowere in october 07 she arrived at my door i ddnt even recognise her, we both broke down and hugged each other, she had been thrown out by her mum who had also thrown my son out when he was twelve josh is now 19 and in the parachute regiment, but my girl is in high school with 1 1/2 yrs to go trouble is SCHOOL she's permentaly on report and forever in trouble. She has also been drinking and even done a 'ALLNIGHTER' OK she was gripped and grounded by myself her mum or mums husband always ring and ask what am going to do about it, i have found letters in her room (written before she left her mums) concerning her mum and her elder sista bulling her, i no i need to make her understand wat she is doing is wrong but feel under pressure from the mum and step-dad i find myself screaming at her and then feel so guilty afterwards because i hadnt seen her for so long when i seen her back in october she told me she knew i loved her and that she had always loved me i feel as though her mum is controling me again and trying to make my daughter dislike me, i was always ripped to bits by her my son and i spoke the other week and he told thst when he came to live with me that the reason why he ddnt see his mum for the first two years was because of her always being in the house full of her mates just rippen me to pieces, i always encouraged him to see her but after so long he said he would go when ready, my dsaughter sees her mum but eveytime she goes there her mum has a go at her ex: you look like a man was one another was going to get a drink out the fridge to be told she ddnt live there anymore so not to help herself and to go i could go on forever thing is ive never pulled her down never to the kids but am on the edge of insanity i feel like am gonna say some home truths in front of children i havelost two stone and weigh 9st i feel ill ive told my daughter i love her and wateva else can be said but not gettin anywere my daughters friends mum told me that abbie had spoken to her on numerous occastions and that she said her head was everywere an that her mum was being nasty WHAT CAN I DO ANY ADVICE CAN ONLY HELP THANKS