How to write good

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

[pete8242]

omfg verity
did you get a thesaurus for petes chrimbo?
your not supposed to read it before you give him it yknow
hes got you some frilly knicks anyhow
its only fair that your presents should be spoiled
as youve gave the game away with what youve got him with that rather austere and rambunctious post
when do u want the book back?

ha not bad at all

[sky]

Lol I feel as tho I needn't read anything ever again.

That was a lot to take in verity, that could be handy for my daughters homework, thanks xx

[foxydebs]

OMG I had to get a dictionary out to understand alot of that pmsl xxxxxxxxxxx

yer can we have it in english next time , me brain cell is in danger of explodeing now lol well done hun x

[sukisue]

Originally Posted by loopychops

yer can we have it in english next time , me brain cell is in danger of explodeing now lol well done hun x

my brain is useless and only works wen it wants to and as for english wats that wen its about hehehe i used to no it all but now ive lost the plot and dont no nowt cus it went in one ear and straight out the other

Perfectly good piece of nomeclature if you ask me verity!

I do believe i should of learnt a lot from that Verity, but truth be known, i didnt understand a bloody word of it.