Who is your nightmare passenger?

[holly]

I thought this mite be a fun idea. Tell your worst driving experiences in explicit detail to let us live them too! Nothing like finding out about other people's problems!

Unfortunately for me this happens far too often. Sometimes several times a week. Sometimes several times a day!

Since his driving licence was revoked in 1969 he is not allowed anywhere near a steering wheel. Dont ask me what or why or how. But revoked it was. I've heard rumours. Too many rumours. I don't know why it was anyway, I wasn't even born then so how would I know. it you wanna know then ask the man himself!

"Holly Dearest... ", a frail old voice utters from an even frailer looking specimen that looks like it should have been at the museum of Ebalming Arts many decades ago.....

"....... the silence continues.....".

"....Tara says she is too busy spending my millions to take me to the Pub/Chippie/Chinky/Old Fogies Knees Up/Your Choice so will you take me please?"

"Not a chance babes, no way. Dont ask me, Its not in my contract" is my standard reply, sometimes a few expletives may be littered in amongst those words.

"Please Holly Babes......Please...",

This can go on and on for hours and as everyone knows He never gives up moaning, so it's much easier to give in.

"OK... Ok!... But only if Tazzy comes too" Hoping that she won't.

Off he shuffles to find Tazzy.

"Tara Hun, Holly says she is going to town and wondered if you fancied a trip to Burger King"

"Yeah, I could eat a Scabby Cat or two but if she is paying"

Five minutes later Tazzy turns up behind the wheelchair with You Know Who sitting there with his broad grin barey dIstinguishable from his deep wrinkles or as he prefers, "Furrows of Wisdom". How someone so dim can have Wisdom Wrinkles I'll never know. Furrows, sorry, not wrinkles. FFs he's so petty over words he cant even spell

"He says u are treating me to BK babes"

"Am I? Since when?"

A very shakey hand touches mine. I bet he is almost 5 on the Reichter Scale with them trembles! A very loosly screwed up piece of paper with a childlike scribble that is just about readable says "I'll add Double to your wages Holly"

"Oh Yeah, sorry, we could do Starbucks and then finish off on the Mad Mallard or the Dismal Drake." Well if he is gonna pay me double what I spend then i'm gonna spend .... spend.

Dismal Drake ... Dismal Drake .... Dismal Drake ... Dismal Drake .... Dismal Drake on and on he goes. Don't stop. Ever!!

"Yeah, we can go there Babes, I've heard there's a new barman with a verh high rating!"

"OOOOOooo It's about time we saw a male arse besides his"

Then it starts................

"Have you checked the tyres today Holly?"

"Yes Babes, of course babes, I always do Babes"

"Have you checked the Brake Fluid Level too?"

"Yes Babes, of course babes, I always do Babes"

"Do you have enough petrol to get there and back and enough in case we get stuck all night?"

"Yes Babes, of course babes, I always do Babes"

"Have you secured everything in the boot just in case it chops our heads off if we have an accident"

"Yes Babes, of course babes, I always do Babes"

"Have you cleaned your interior mirror and door mirrors?"

"Yes Babes, of course babes, I always do Babes"

"have you turned your phone off?"

"Yes Babes, of course babes, I always do Babes"

"Get in the car Stupid or the shops will be shut!"

"Yes Tara, Am I jumping high enough for you?"

"Could do better if you tried harder"

"I'm a real man me, I model saris for pleasure"

"Get in the car and I'll have less of your lip, Thanks. or it's Kennel time"

"Sorry Tara. Please forgive me" <kiss> <kiss> <Kiss> "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry".

"So you should be. Not in the front Stupid, Get in the back. You should know your place by now"

"Sorry Tara"

"You are annoying me now, so stop talking to me."

"You should't be going that fast in first gear Holly"



IF YOU WANT MORE THEN REPLY AND I'LL CARRY ON IF ENOUGH OF YOU WANT ME TO

[Mr Woc]

Hellooooo

Err since when do i shake and since when am i in a wheel chair lol !

Also i am an advanced driver and even have my own pair of driving gloves !

Woc (108 years)

[holly]

And where may I ask is there a reference to you Woccy Babes? I dont see no names ................

Fancy thinking I'd include u in anything i write?

xxx

[sultry]

erm i would suggest to ur passenger that they invest in a bus pass lol...ahhh nightmare....

[pete8242]

id probably say holly
id be cacking myself every time i went to change gear
just incase it wasnt the gearstick id grabbed hold of

[Bakerboo]

Originally Posted by Mr Woc

Hellooooo

Err since when do i shake and since when am i in a wheel chair lol !

Also i am an advanced driver and even have my own pair of driving gloves !

Woc (108 years)

You're so vain, I bet you think this thread is about you
You're so vain, you probably think this thread is about you
Don't you
Don't you

Will you look after your bloody spiders woc ffs! Poor creatures are almost dead! If you don't sort them out, I'll tell not to bring you any pressies this year.